I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
