his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
