I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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