Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
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Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
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He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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