My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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