end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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