So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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