I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
