I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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