I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize