dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize