my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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