I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
