we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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