your room smells of hookers.
And success
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Ketchup is God's man juice
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
