I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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