I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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