i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
