end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize