Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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