so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
