I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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