He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
