i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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