where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
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sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
This is my life. Enjoy the view
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize