Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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