thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
