if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
