yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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