Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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