kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
