there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
