did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize