he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
