Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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