apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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