I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
