Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
