how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
