he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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