Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize