I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
