i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
