i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
