Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
