I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
