Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Dear god my vagina.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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