I am puke
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
