what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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