did you get engaged???
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
