Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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