The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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