Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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