I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
