omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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